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  “Tess, you don’t have to pay me. I’ll do it. Just let me write my mom a note; she’s bringing home dinner.”

  Sticking a Post-It to the door, I followed Tess to her apartment. A few hours later, there was a soft knock, and my mom stood with a quizzical expression on her face. “Babysitting?”

  After I explained what happened and that this was the woman who had given me all of the baby things, my mom thought it was sweet. I stayed up until Tess came home. She’d been right; the kids hadn’t woken up at all.

  I’d been there about six hours when Tess came in. She tried to hand me her tips and I refused, reminding her she didn’t take anything for her car seat and other baby items.

  “It’s great we can help each other,” I said. “In fact, I can do it again.” I’d been worried about how I’d have a job for the same reason, and then it hit me. “Maybe we could trade childcare?”

  If I could get a job after school, and she could watch the baby, I could watch her kids while she was at work. Neither would need to pay for childcare. It would be the only way I’d be able to afford to work.

  She agreed, and we began our arrangement the very next day. I didn’t mind watching them, and I actually offered to watch them while she went grocery shopping, something that would end up changing my life.

  I’d taken them outside so they could play as I sat on the front steps looking through the paper at the want ads. One of the lawn care guys who took care of the building had been mowing the grass, but when he was about halfway done, the machine just cut out on him. He stood there looking at it a while, but after a few minutes of it lying idle, I decided to go over and see if he could use some help.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, walking up to him.

  “I doubt it. Piece of shit keeps stalling on me. It’s the back-up mower. Good one is broken too. We use this repair shop down the street, but their small engine mechanic is back in rehab.”

  Hell, all I’d asked was if I could help, and he’d given me a life story. I did think I knew what was wrong with it. I spent about five minutes tinkering with it, and it roared to life.

  “Wanna fix the ones on the truck?” It was a joke the way he said it, but I actually asked if I could see them, and within the hour, I had the other two running.

  The owner of the company had come by to see what was taking him so long, and when he explained that I’d fixed the mowers, he called his brother, who owned the garage down the road with the mechanic in rehab. He was grateful I fixed his mowers and handed me fifty dollars, which was huge for me at the time, but even more than that, he had me go see his brother, who offered me a job.

  I started at Tony’s the next day. He offered me ten dollars an hour, which was a great deal for him, less than half of a regular mechanic, but for me, it was well over minimum wage, and I could pick my hours. It seemed like everything was falling into place.

  A week after I’d started, with nearly two hundred dollars in my pocket, I got the call that changed my life. “Hello?” I said, picking up the phone, not recognizing the number on caller ID.

  “Is this Nicholas DiMarco?” the male voice on the other end asked.

  “Yes,” I responded, my heart racing. No one used my whole name.

  “I was asked to notify you that Ms. Tamara Watson gave birth an hour ago at Community Memorial Hospital.”

  “Is the baby all right? Boy or girl?” I fired the questions off at him.

  “It’s a girl, Mr. DiMarco. Congratulations.”

  A girl! I was a father!

  I rushed down to the hospital, leaving a note on the door for my mom. My hands started to sweat as I entered the building and was directed to the third floor. When the elevators chimed, I stepped out and looked around at all the muted colors.

  “May I help you?” a nurse asked, sensing I was confused.

  “I got a call that my daughter was born.” I couldn’t believe I’d said the words. Apparently, the woman couldn’t either, but she concealed her surprise quickly and, after asking for identification, showed me to the nursery.

  Standing outside was the attorney. “Hello, Nick. Congratulations.” He held out his hand and I shook it. “Are you sure? I brought both sets of papers, just in case. There are plenty of couples who would be happy to give her a good life.”

  I’d never been surer. “I’m sure they would, but I’m her father. What do I sign?”

  Apparently, I’d either impressed the nurse or she just hated the lawyer because as soon as he left, she smiled. “Would you like to see her?” she asked with a warm smile on her face.

  “More than anything,” I answered.

  She showed me to a plastic cradle with the smallest infant I’d ever seen. Wrapped in a pink blanket with a pink hat was the pinkest, wrinkliest baby I’d ever laid eyes on. She was perfect.

  I looked at the nurse and back to her. “Do you think, I mean, she’s asleep. Should I wait until she wakes up to hold her?”

  The nurse smiled. “That’s up to you, honey. You’re her father, but I think it would be all right. Just reach under her and scoop her up.”

  I did as she said, and a moment later, I was holding in my arms the most precious thing in the world. I’d heard that babies don’t open their eyes for a week. That’s bullshit because, at just a few hours old, my little girl looked up at me, and in that moment, I vowed I’d be everything to her just as much as those other couples would have been. I’d show her twice as much love and support. I’d work my ass off so she had everything she needed, and she would always know I wanted her.

  I don’t know how long I held her, but after a while, she started to squirm and cry. At first, thinking I’d done something wrong, but then realizing she was just hungry, the nurse helped me make her first bottle.

  About twenty minutes later, I changed my first diaper. It really wasn’t that bad, and the nurse pointed out how I had to make sure to clean her really well because little girls could get infections.

  I was feeding her for the second time when my mom arrived. She made it about fifteen seconds before she started to cry. My mom held her and sang to her. I showed her how to change her diaper as if I was an expert, though I’d only done it once before. The nurse gave us supplies and we gave the baby her first bath.

  It was when they chimed that visiting hours were over that I felt this sense of panic you can only understand if you’re a parent. If you aren’t one, you have no idea what I’m talking about, but if you are, it was that feeling you get when you turn around in the grocery store and when you turn back, your child isn’t there, or when they fall really hard but don’t cry … that feeling.

  The nurse must have seen the worry on my face because she spoke up. “They don’t mean you, hun. Parents can stay all night. I’m just going to get you a pillow and blanket.”

  “Thanks,” I said, “but I don’t plan on sleeping. I’ll just watch her sleep.”

  The nurse raised her eyebrows. “Son, you have a newborn. Never turn down sleep.”

  While she was gone, I thanked my mom. She hugged me and kissed the baby on the forehead. “I’m going to go home, Nick. I’ll come back in the morning.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said, beginning to appreciate how she felt for me. When she got to the door, she turned. “Does she have a name yet?”

  “I was thinking Abigail, like Grandma.”

  My mom started to cry and nodded. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

  I was thinking we could call her Abby or Gail. Little did I know then we’d only use that name for the first few months; that in my arms, I held the whirlwind that would come to be known as Harley DiMarco. But, that’s another story; one you’ve likely been told.

  Author endnote: This was originally intended to be a supplementary chapter to a book called Hurricane that I’m in the process of writing giving the backstory of Nick.

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  I had been back from New York City fo
r two days the first time I saw her.

  When I left New York, I left a dream and a girl. The dream consisted of opening a tattoo shop there. I almost did it; I wanted it so badly but it wasn’t realistic. The costs were way more than I expected but I had a good time thinking about it there. I met great people and a girl. Mercedes, wild, fun and a bit on the crazy side. She had no fear, absolutely none, and it drove me to push my own limits. Her talent as a tattoo artist knew no boundaries. Her portraits looked like paintings, her flowers looked real and her Japanese artwork attracted many people from around the world.

  We had a fun ride; she taught me a lot of tricks and I shared with her everything I knew. We connected, we partied, but I still felt a void. Something was missing. Our time had brought me a lot but it wasn’t meant to last. It sucked but I ended us. I broke her heart and flew back home.

  Uncertainty haunted my mind. Questioning myself about the choices I’d made. I sat at my friend Tyler’s club, sipping on a beer thinking about her, my life and my doubts.

  Until I noticed a woman behind the counter. She was the shining star of a dark and cloudy night.

  Her beautiful blue eyes, that long silky hair; but what hypnotized me was her smile. Who was she? She danced, laughed, sang to the song that was playing and smiled at each of her customers. A true star that made my world much more alive.

  “Tyler, who is she?” “The tall one is a no go, okay?” He said with possessiveness.

  “No, I’m talking about the blue eyed babe.”

  He chuckled. “That my friend is a good innocent University girl who appears to love her job. From what I heard, it’s her first time living by herself; she was over-protected by her mom.”

  “I have to talk to her, man. There’s something about her.” I tried to chill out, but my eyes kept on diverting to her.

  “I think she already has her eyes on a certain guy named Tristan.” Tristan? No, I was going to talk to her, flirt with her, I needed to make her mine. “Not tonight, but soon, I’ll talk to her. I’ll keep on watching her.” I couldn’t look away.

  “Okay, stalker. Do your thing. I have my eyes on the tall brunette. She doesn’t know yet, she is clueless but I can’t stay away from her for too long.”

  “Go, get her.” Why wait? He knew her, they’d been working together for quite some time, right?

  “I will.” He tapped my shoulder in a friendly way. “When the time is right. I’ll get you another beer.”

  I stayed in my corner for another hour, contemplating my approach and what I would say to her. No cheap pickup lines would work with her. It never was my thing, anyway. My charm had to be my best weapon and I had to use it.

  Her eyes never looked in my direction. In fact, she didn’t seem to care for any of the guys standing before her. What about that Tristan guy? I needed to find out who I was competing against.

  My star, the blonde, and the brunette danced together, something that reminded me of that shitty movie. A short choreography where they danced in a provocative way while shaking their shakers full of alcohol. It ended with a mass of people at their feet, asking for shots. Men were giving them tips and the girls loved the attention. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t that type of girl. She looked timid, reserved, but there had to be some fire hiding inside of her. The proof was that she worked here. One of the wildest, coolest fucking clubs in Seattle. Tyler had done a great job with the place. While I studied to be a lawyer, he worked his ass off to get this place started. Back then, I was the nerd, he, the bad boy. I helped Tyler figure out everything about the laws and the rules he had to follow. I may look like a bum with tattoos now but back then, I used to wear a tie with shiny black shoes. Things changed but I’m still the same old Levi at heart. Driven by my passion, living at the fullest, and obsessed by this blue eyed babe.

  I drank the remainder of my beer. Not tonight, I said, looking at her behind the counter. Her loose hair falling over her shoulders, I could imagine the feel of those tresses in between my fingers. Her beauty was flawless. She was driving me insane. Kyle needed me at the shop and I knew the next few days would be busy. It wasn’t the time to play Romeo just yet. I got up, waved goodbye to Ty and headed to the shop.

  I hadn’t been at the shop as much as I should have since my return. My dad wanted to see me so I stayed there the first night. It felt good to hang out with my old man, he couldn’t seem to stay away from his cell phone, but he did mention that he had a very demanding case to work on. The second night, I crashed at Tyler’s. I had to find a place to stay soon. Not that Ty’s couch wasn’t comfortable, but after spending months in New York, I kind of wanted to settle down here. I had sold my condo before leaving, which turned out to be a mistake since I came back only few months later. I guess it was a learning experience.

  Mercedes hadn’t stopped calling me since the day I’d left. My dad raised me to be a gentleman so I told her nicely that we had to end whatever we had. I honestly didn’t know what to tell her anymore. A long distance relationship meant hard work and many trips to the East Coast, and I wasn’t ready for that. I liked her, we shared great memories but that was all. In the end, I had no desire to be serious with her. Eventually, I knew I would have to answer her call and remind her that it wouldn’t work. Besides, the beautiful blue eyed babe at the club had already captured my heart. She’d made me a fool and we hadn’t even exchanged a word. Soon…

  “What’s up, Kyle?” I asked as I set foot in the shop.

  “Hey man, I thought you were gonna be here this afternoon. I had scheduled an appointment for you. I told the guy to come back tomorrow.”

  Damn, I hated doing this to my clients, so unprofessional and unlike me.

  “Why didn’t you call me?” My voice sounded frustrated at first but I toned it down. Disappointment defined how I felt.

  “I figured you were spending the day with your old man or that you were looking for a place to stay so I told him to come back tomorrow. He agreed, no big deal.”

  “Alright, then. I thought it would be bittersweet but I’m happy to be back here. This is where it all started and I think I’m pleased with the shop we have.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s good to have you back. Now tell me about the Big Apple.”

  I told him everything from the pretzel I ate in Time Square to the parties I went to, and some details about the girl I used to date. Her name only made me feel uncomfortable. To me, it ended as soon as I left the city but to her, the end seemed unbearable and unacceptable. Something that required to be taken care. Even if I’d rather not talk to her, I couldn’t keep on ignoring her calls.

  “If you have feelings for her, why did you end it?” I couldn’t believe that I was having this discussion with K.

  “I don’t. I like her but there’s no love involved.” I paused thinking about what I had just said.

  “On my side, anyway.” I added. “Mercedes must have fallen in love with me.”

  “Clear this up, man.” I hated to say it, but he was right.

  I nodded silently, walking around the shop. Kyle had changed a few things while I was gone and it seemed a better fit. It looked bigger and more spacious. “What are you doing here anyway? It’s late?”

  “I’m just working on a design, you know how it is. Trying to mix it with what he already has on his arm. It’s quite the challenge.” He chuckled. Some people literally asked the tattoo artist for a miracle. Not everything is possible if you want your body, your skin, your ink to look great.

  We talked and I tried to help him out the best way I could. We stayed in the shop until early in the morning. I ended up crashing on the couch. Being homeless and dependent on my friends didn’t exactly go well with me. I needed to figure this out fast.

  Later that day, after a couple of hours of sleep, K returned and woke me up. My neck hurt and felt stiff. A shower would help but I had no place, and very little time before my first appointment. Kyle lent me the keys to his place and I returned in less than an hour. I was
anxious to tattoo again. Tattooing was my drug, I needed my daily dose and it had been a few days.

  The night was young and Tyler asked me to stop by the club. I knew I was going to see her and I thought tonight would be the perfect moment to talk to her.

  For some reason, the idea of interacting with her made me nervous. My whole body transformed into a whirlwind of anxiety and excitement. There was a possibility that she would reject me but I had my ways of seducing a woman. I was going to give everything I had.

  The music of the club was so loud that I could hear everything from my car. My hands were moist and trembling. I had never reacted this way for a girl, not even for a first date. This woman had gotten under my skin. As soon as I was inside, my eyes immediately searched for her and she was looking at me as Tyler welcomed me in. I could see the surprise in her eyes. Tyler wanted to talk about some legal questions he had. I was his unofficial lawyer, free of charge. Working in a firm wasn’t my thing, but I still got a kick out of helping and sharing my knowledge.

  All this talking had taken time away from my plan to speak with her. I watched her for a couple of minutes and she seemed to be having a great time. Her smile, her eyes and her sex appeal, I liked everything about her.